Cleaning after a suicide at home: what a family should know

There is no version of this article that makes the day easier. What it can do is take a few unknowns off the pile, because unknowns are what people are carrying at this point.

Nobody expects you to handle the room

Families sometimes feel they should do this themselves, out of love or out of privacy. You do not have to, and the reasons not to are practical as well as personal.

Bodily fluids can carry bloodborne pathogens, porous materials absorb what surfaces do not, and the parts that matter are usually not the parts that are visible. That is work with protection, containment and a disposal route, not work with a bucket.

Discretion is part of the job, not an extra

In a block of flats, a corridor is a public place and people notice. We are used to this. Vehicles, timing, what is carried and how it is carried can all be handled quietly, and you can tell us what matters to you before we arrive.

If you want the neighbours to see nothing, say so on the first call. It is a normal request and it is easier to plan for than to fix.

What we will and will not ask

• We will not ask what happened. You can tell us as much or as little as you want. It does not change the work.
• We will ask about the room, because the material and the surfaces decide the scope.
• We will ask what must be kept. Documents, photographs and anything you identify as a keepsake are set aside rather than swept up with the rest.
• We will tell you before anything is removed, so nothing leaves the home as a surprise.

You can be there, or not

Some people need to be present. Others cannot walk back in, and arrange for it to be done while they are elsewhere. Both are normal. If you would rather not see any part of it, say that, and you will not have to.

The odour question

Most people ask this last and worry about it most. Fragrance and ozone do not resolve it, and repainting can trap it. It is dealt with by removing what absorbed and treating what remains, not by covering it. There is more on that in why air fresheners do not remove the smell.

Why us

The directors of this company are also undertakers. That is not a marketing line, it is simply why nothing about a home like this is unfamiliar to us, and why we are unlikely to react in a way that makes your day worse.

The work itself is trauma and biohazard remediation, and the order it runs in is on What happens now.

If there are other people in the household

This is the part families handle last and it deserves thinking about first. Where somebody else lives in the property, particularly a child or a sibling, the question is not only when the room is dealt with but what they are asked to walk past in the meantime.

Keeping the door shut is not avoidance. It is a reasonable thing to do for somebody who still has to sleep down the corridor from it.

If it would help for the work to happen while a particular person is out of the house, say so. Timing is one of the easiest things for us to arrange and one of the few parts of this you can still control.

You do not have to make the arrangements yourself

A friend, a relative or a neighbour can call us, meet us and handle the whole thing on your behalf. We will still confirm scope with whoever has the say, but you do not have to be the person on the phone.

Whether to be present on the day is covered in can you be in the home while the work is done, and what can be kept out of sight of the neighbours is in what discretion means on a job like this.