What to do first when someone is found dead at home

If you are reading this in the middle of it, start here. The cleaning is not the first thing, and nobody expects you to be organised today.

What follows is the order things actually happen in, from our side of it, so you know what is coming and what is not yours to handle.

The authorities come first, not us

A death at home is reported to the police, and they decide what happens next. Until they have finished, the home is theirs and not yours, and nothing should be moved, cleaned or thrown away.

That includes tidying. People tidy because it is the only useful thing they can think of to do. It is the one thing that can genuinely cause a problem, so leave it.

We are not able to tell you what the police or the coroner will decide in your case, and any cleaning company that claims it can is guessing. Ask them directly.

Close the room, do not open the windows yet

Shut the door of the room and keep people out of it, especially children and anyone elderly. If there is an air-conditioner running in that room, leave it alone rather than switching it on or off.

Opening every window feels like the obvious move. It moves the problem around the flat and, in a block of flats, into the corridor and the units either side. Keep it contained instead.

When to call us

Call once the authorities have released the home. You do not need a decision made, a budget agreed, or the right words ready. A phone number and an address is enough to start.

One of the directors comes and looks at the space in person. Scope is decided in the room, because a description over the phone and the actual state of a home are two different things, and we would rather tell you the truth than a number we made up.

You do not have to know what you need. That is our job. You only have to pick up the phone.

You do not have to be the next of kin

Not everyone who calls us is family. Landlords, property agents, executors, employers and neighbours call, often because they are the ones who found it or the ones now responsible for the property. None of that requires you to be related to the person who died.

If you are not the decision maker, say so on the call. It changes who we speak to, not whether we come.

What we do not ask you to do

• You do not have to be there. Some families want to be present, others cannot face it. Both are normal and neither makes the work different.
• You do not have to clear the room first. Sorting belongings is part of the job, not a condition of it.
• You do not have to explain what happened. Tell us what you want us to know and nothing more.
• You do not have to handle anything biological. That is the part that needs protection and process, and it is the reason to call somebody rather than manage it yourself.

The full sequence, from the first phone call through to handing the home back, is set out on What happens now.

If it is today

We are a family of four and we do this work ourselves. The people who answer the phone are the people who come.

What to write down while you still can

Nobody remembers this day accurately afterwards. In the following weeks you will be asked the same handful of questions by several different people, and having the answers written somewhere saves you reconstructing them from a day you would rather not revisit.

• Who attended and when, and any reference number you were given.
• Who has been told, so nobody hears it twice and nobody is missed.
• Who holds keys to the property, including a neighbour or an agent.
• Anything you were told to do or not do, in the words it was said in.

If somebody offers to help, this is the thing to hand them. It is useful, it can be done from a chair, and it does not require them to make any decisions on your behalf.

If the property is rented

The landlord or agent will need to be told, and they may reach you before you reach them. That is not a conversation you have to have immediately or alone, and the belongings in the property are not theirs to clear. There is more on that side of it in when a tenant dies in your unit, which is written for landlords but is worth a family reading too.